Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
