So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize