loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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