Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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