Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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