we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
