I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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