Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
