Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
