Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The air was thick with penises
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
