Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
