oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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