it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
