it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
