we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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