Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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