yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
