Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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