ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize