I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Bring me that man meat
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
