She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
