big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit