guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor