I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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