What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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