if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
