Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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