wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
