and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
