Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
