Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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