so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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