when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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