hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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