At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.