I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
