take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
