Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize