Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
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Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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