You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
