the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
