So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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