Quick, to the slutcave!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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