I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
