her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
