Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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