yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm at about main and main street
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
