I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
