Where is the hickey?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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