it was like having sex with a tree stump
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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