My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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