I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
