i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
