i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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